Change

I often wonder how much people change. You can change your body through exercise and diet. Can you change your personality? I need to become more outgoing or driven or I'll be stuck in the same job forever or until I'm not needed and then I'll be too stale to do anything else. Also, no more online porn or sex related chatting.

FU, invisible ghost

I was riding the metro this morning next to a thin, black haired man who was reading a notebook full of handwritten notes. He had curly hair, a dark complexion and wore horn rimmed glasses. He wore black pants and a striped shirt. He was reading the notes quite intensely. I know it is wrong to pry into other peoples business but I could not help glancing over at the notes. It seemed liked it was a novel or a story of some kind. I saw the phrase "FU, invisible ghost!" On another page I saw "Burke Lake" and then a few lines down, "difficult river." It was all hand written in one of those essay books, similar to the one my son has for his spelling assignments. What could the story be about? I remembered being at Burke Lake Park a number of times and had rowed across the lake with my wife and son. There was no difficult river there though. Who was the invisible ghost?

Living with Hoarders

Its frustrating living with my wife and mother-in-law. Our house is cluttered with stuff. It's so hard to get them to throw anything away. They get hysterical when I try even if its just empty boxes and ten year old junk mail. I'm constantly tripping over things in my house. They're shopaholics and pack rats, a terrible combination. My mother-in-law can't stop shopping. She declared bankruptcy a few years ago. Fortunately, that's slowed down the new purchases considerably. Hopefully if the intake of new crap is slowed, I can gradually get rid of the old crap. The trouble is they stop me when I try to take things out to the garage. our basement is not a walkout and the old hag is always on the main floor which has all the exits to the house. She hardly ever leaves the house. I feel trapped and imprisoned by her.

Last Airbender

Went to see The Last Airbender over the weekend. I was expecting too much, having read a number of negative reviews, and not being into the animated TV series. However, I rather liked it. It was imaginative, entertaining and touching. So far, though, I think my favorite summer movie is Prince of Persia.

Jack Wrangler RIP

Interesting obituary in the New York Times this morning: Jack Wrangler, a porn star (in both gay and straight movies) from the 70's. After his porn career was over he got married and found a new career as a writer and cabaret producer.

More Worries

I got upset this morning when I logged into my bank and saw my wife spent several hundreds of dollars on cosmetics and books for my son. Then at work I look at my credit card account and see even more money spent on a camp and more cosmetics. The stuff for my son is understandable but she could have consulted with me first. But that goddamn cosmetics? She is using my accounts to which she has not contributed anything. I need that money to pay the mortgage, the utilities and taxes! When the hell am I going to do? I took her debit card (to our joint account) out of her purse and locked in my safe. I have to get her to get a better paying job and start paying for things, not just spending my money.

Solitary Confinement

I found this article in the New Yorker about the effects of solitary confinement on human beings. I've never been a prisoner but I wonder if some of this applies to me based on isolation during my adolescence. Some of the spree killers who turn up now and then all seem to have led extremely isolated lives, with little normal contact with others. Certainly the guy at Virginia Tech seemed to be totally cut off from anybody. I'm not sure why this happens since these people were not forcibly put into a cell and physically cut off from everyone else. In America High Schools though some kids are just treated like shit and socially isolated from everyone else. It's gotta to have some impact on them, even if it is not as extreme as the prisoners in the story.